Monstercide

A whole lot of monster stuff is going on these days. I canceled my post on Setsubun, because I like Troy’s explanation much better.

Whether there are alligators under the bed or scary monsters in the closets, you’re just going to have to get rid of them. As Nancy Blakey points out, “It’s no use talking [your child] out of it, this only confirms your child’s worst fear: the monsters are only after him.”

Naturally you need some really really strong stuff for the job.

You can buy Monstercide online – plus a few other terrific products. (Adults, ye shall not giggle out loud while snuffling through that site….)

Or, if you’re in a hurry, you can make your own. Follow the rest of Nancy Blakey’s wise words below.

You will need: an empty spray bottle, water, 1 teaspoon almond extract, 3 drops blue food coloring [My edit: substitute another color if blue happens to be your child's favorite color.]

1) Fill the bottle with water and add the almond extract. Monsters hate the smell of almond extract. It smells exactly like the stinkiest stink in the world to them. They avoid it at all costs.

2) Next, drop in 3 drops of the blue food coloring. This is the secret ingredient. Blue is a color that hurts a monster to even glance at. Even though you will not see the blue when it is sprayed, monsters can detect even a molecule of blue with their beady eyes. When they see it, they run as far away as possible.

3) Shake everything up. Ready?

4) Use the spray in all the places monsters like to lurk (under beds, in closets, behind doors). It may take several days of spraying to rid the house of the beasties, but I have never known Monstercide to fail. Good luck.